Slow Down You Move Too Fast
Paul Simon wrote a song (Feeling Groovy) that has these lyrics:
Slow down, you move too fast, you’ve got to make the morning last
Just kickin’ down the cobble-stones, lookin’ for fun and feelin’ groovyFeeling groovy
Hello lamp-post, what’s cha knowing, I’ve come to watch your flowers growin’
Ain’t cha got no rhymes for me, do-it-do-do, feelin’ groovyFeeling groovy
I’ve got no deeds to do, no promises to keep
I’m dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morning time drop all its petals on meLife I love you, all is groovy
Are you a Human Doing?
John Bradshaw talks about “Human Doings”: People who must do to be okay; Only by accomplishment can they feel okay about themselves.
Do you find that your day consists of going from one activity to the next to the point where you feel overwhelmed and not enjoying your life? Do you fear that if you don’t do all these things your life will suffer? Does your life consist of a series of things to be checked off in order to feel good about yourself? It is great to do things that you enjoy, however if doing all these things becomes a burden and wears you out, then something is wrong with the picture!
Slow Down, Pause
Rick Hanson suggests:
If an interaction is delicate or heated, slow it down. You can do this on your own even if the other person keeps rat-a-tat-tatting away. Without being deliberately annoying, you could allow a few seconds more silence (or even longer) before you respond, or speak in a more measured way.
If need be, pause the interaction altogether by suggesting you talk later, calling time out, or (last resort) telling the other person you’re done for now and hanging up the phone. In most relationships, you do not need the permission of the other person to end an interaction! Of course, pausing a conversation (which may have become an argument) midstream is more likely to go well if you also propose another, realistic time to resume.
Before doing something that could be problematic – like getting high, putting a big purchase on a credit card, firing off an irritated e-mail, or talking about person A to person B – stop and forecast the consequences. Try to imagine them in living color: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Then make your choice.
Last, for a minute or more each day, pause globally. Just sit, as a body relaxed and breathing. Letting thoughts and feelings come and go as they will, not chasing after them. Nowhere you need to go, nothing you need to do, no one you need to be. Paused from doing, sinking into being.
The idea is that by taking frequent pauses and just being, you can reduce your stress levels and enhance your sense of well being.